In honor of tomorrow's celebration, I want to share this sonnet by Malcolm Guite, which speaks of how what happened "there and then" is still happening "here and now."
Palm Sunday
Now to the gate of my Jerusalem,
The seething holy city of my heart,
The saviour comes. But will I welcome him?
Oh crowds of easy feelings make a start;
They raise their hands, get caught up in the singing,
And think the battle won. Too soon they'll find
The challenge, the reversal he is bringing
Changes their tune. I know what lies behind
The surface flourish that so quickly fades;
Self-interest, and fearful guardedness,
The hardness of the heart, its barricades,
And at the core, the dreadful emptiness
Of a perverted temple. Jesus come
Break my resistance and make me your home.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
For Good
I love this song from "Wicked." It's been in my head all day.
For Good
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
By being my friend
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
For Good
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
By being my friend
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
I Am with "I AM"
"...I am not enough, and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy....
"...We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought--that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside...."
Those words from Captivating pretty much say what my heart has been wrestling with for awhile...maybe all of my adult life. (Even as a young girl, did anyone want to know the real me? Not the straight-A student, not the piano player, not the "good girl"...but ME? *sigh*)
But there is One who sees, who seeks, who loves, who pursues, who knows, who is larger than my mess. No pain is too great that He can't heal. No darkness too thick that His light can't dispel. No longing too deep that He can't fill.
When I draw close to Jesus, I am no longer not enough or too much; I just *am*. I only need to stay there...to "be still and know."
That who I am -- with all of my deepness and mess and questions and faith and ugliness and beauty...all of my paradoxes...all of the "magic that is me" -- can BE with the "Great I AM" is the miracle of the cross. "I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine." (Song of Solomon 6:3) Through Christ I can come into God's presence and be both captivated and captivating.
What a priceless, undeserved gift.
"...We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought--that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside...."
Those words from Captivating pretty much say what my heart has been wrestling with for awhile...maybe all of my adult life. (Even as a young girl, did anyone want to know the real me? Not the straight-A student, not the piano player, not the "good girl"...but ME? *sigh*)
But there is One who sees, who seeks, who loves, who pursues, who knows, who is larger than my mess. No pain is too great that He can't heal. No darkness too thick that His light can't dispel. No longing too deep that He can't fill.
When I draw close to Jesus, I am no longer not enough or too much; I just *am*. I only need to stay there...to "be still and know."
That who I am -- with all of my deepness and mess and questions and faith and ugliness and beauty...all of my paradoxes...all of the "magic that is me" -- can BE with the "Great I AM" is the miracle of the cross. "I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine." (Song of Solomon 6:3) Through Christ I can come into God's presence and be both captivated and captivating.
What a priceless, undeserved gift.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
In His Palm
Tonight I had the privilege of praying for a friend, using the ministry of Formational Prayer, something for which I received a fair amount of training a few years ago. I've not had many opportunities to use my training for awhile, however the good people at the Institute of Formational Counseling were thoughtful enough to put together a "cheat sheet" to help we feeble-minded ones remember what to do.
Once we got going, I had that indescribable feeling of being in the center of God's palm -- when I know I'm doing exactly what I was created to do. (I often feel that way when I'm leading worship, too.) It's not that I have *command* of what I'm doing...in fact, it's often quite the opposite. But I know I'm partnering with God to bring about His purposes in the life of the person as I listen to them and gently guide them into His presence. It is more than a privilege, and every single time, I come away filled with awe at how God moves and LOVES. He is so specific to show Himself and speak exactly how and what the person needs to see and hear in that moment. EVERY SINGLE TIME.
To watch God work in someone's life as He goes to the deep places of their soul and brings healing by replacing lies with truth, bringing comfort to pain, erasing confusion with clarity, with an "aha moment" or two as dots are connected...it's a rush like no other. I can't imagine anything better than helping people pursue spiritual and emotional health and wholeness so they can walk in freedom to be who they are meant to be in Christ.
I go to bed tonight exceedingly grateful for this upward/outward/inward healing journey...to be able to help others on their journeys while I continue on my own.
And in this Lenten season, I am ever more grateful for, and mindful of, the wounds that heal us.
He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our sins; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him. And by His wounds we are healed. - Isaiah 53:5
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Revelation in the Sun
It was a glorious day here yesterday, warm and sunny. I took a long walk by a lagoon, soaking up the sun and then rested on a bench by the water, with a longing to soak up the Son. I reached for my current companion (Contemplating the Cross) and began to read and these words gave me pause:
The weight of the sin-sick world hangs from the nail-pierced hands that once fashioned it into being.
I meditated on this for awhile... Jesus, the Son of God, was there at creation. Not just there, but He did the creating! John 1:1-3 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made."
And connecting these dots rocked my world...I had not thought of this before...Jesus created trees, and now he was hanging on the very wood that he created. He created ore for metal, and now that very iron was piercing his flesh. He created Man, and now those babies he created were grown up and mocking him, and one of them held the hammer...the hand that was fashioned in a mother's womb by the Lord Himself, was now holding the hammer that was driving the nails into the hands and feet of Jesus.
Creation murdered the Creator.
How much more this deepened my understanding of how great his love was that day! It's mind-blowing that he could say, "Father, forgive them." The very people who should be thanking him for their very lives are scorning, mocking, scoffing, deriding, humiliating, and killing him. But he loves...he forgives...he saves.
This is why I worship. This is why I lift my hands. This is why I have given my life to Christ because I can't fathom any other response.
I'll close with a song Matt Redman wrote which expresses this so beautifully. The lyrics are below and you can listen to it here. I pray it blesses you.
I will offer up my life in spirit and truth,
Pouring out the oil of love as my worship to You
In surrender I must give my every part;
Lord, receive the sacrifice of a broken heart
Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart
You deserve my every breath for You've paid the great cost;
Giving up Your life to death, even death on a cross
You took all my shame away, there defeated my sin
Opened up the gates of heaven and have beckoned me in
Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart
What can I give? What I can I bring?
What can I sing as an offering, Lord?
The weight of the sin-sick world hangs from the nail-pierced hands that once fashioned it into being.
I meditated on this for awhile... Jesus, the Son of God, was there at creation. Not just there, but He did the creating! John 1:1-3 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made."
And connecting these dots rocked my world...I had not thought of this before...Jesus created trees, and now he was hanging on the very wood that he created. He created ore for metal, and now that very iron was piercing his flesh. He created Man, and now those babies he created were grown up and mocking him, and one of them held the hammer...the hand that was fashioned in a mother's womb by the Lord Himself, was now holding the hammer that was driving the nails into the hands and feet of Jesus.
Creation murdered the Creator.
How much more this deepened my understanding of how great his love was that day! It's mind-blowing that he could say, "Father, forgive them." The very people who should be thanking him for their very lives are scorning, mocking, scoffing, deriding, humiliating, and killing him. But he loves...he forgives...he saves.
This is why I worship. This is why I lift my hands. This is why I have given my life to Christ because I can't fathom any other response.
I'll close with a song Matt Redman wrote which expresses this so beautifully. The lyrics are below and you can listen to it here. I pray it blesses you.
I will offer up my life in spirit and truth,
Pouring out the oil of love as my worship to You
In surrender I must give my every part;
Lord, receive the sacrifice of a broken heart
Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart
You deserve my every breath for You've paid the great cost;
Giving up Your life to death, even death on a cross
You took all my shame away, there defeated my sin
Opened up the gates of heaven and have beckoned me in
Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart
What can I give? What I can I bring?
What can I sing as an offering, Lord?
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Close Encounters
This week in Contemplating the Cross is devoted to the crucifixion; seven days of looking intently and intensely at something most unpleasant. And yet I know it is here that I find mercy, grace...LIFE. So I press on...
"There is a strange dichotomy between the Cross of Christ and the cross of Christian culture. We wear it in beautiful chains around our necks -- Christ wore it in bloody stakes through His hands and feet. We display it on bumper stickers and posters with pride, but shame consumed the One who hung there for hours. We hold it close and sense heaven -- Christ embraced it and encountered hell. Our sanctuaries display a cleansed version of the Cross -- no blood, no struggle, no filth of sin -- solely a monument to resurrection power. We celebrate the passion of Christ once a year, but for most of us the journey from Good Friday to Easter is a short one."
Ouch...quite an indictment. Of the church...of me. For years I wore a lovely gold cross with an amethyst in the middle as reminder of His royalty and His sacrifice. I'd often finger it in times of stress, say a prayer and move on. How easy to reduce the cross to some kind of talisman instead of the instrument of capital punishment that it was.
And so this week, I want to not only meditate on His crucifixion but also on how I can more fully live a cross-centered life here in California in the 21st century.
I guess you could say I'm praying for some close encounters of the cruciform kind.
"There is a strange dichotomy between the Cross of Christ and the cross of Christian culture. We wear it in beautiful chains around our necks -- Christ wore it in bloody stakes through His hands and feet. We display it on bumper stickers and posters with pride, but shame consumed the One who hung there for hours. We hold it close and sense heaven -- Christ embraced it and encountered hell. Our sanctuaries display a cleansed version of the Cross -- no blood, no struggle, no filth of sin -- solely a monument to resurrection power. We celebrate the passion of Christ once a year, but for most of us the journey from Good Friday to Easter is a short one."
Ouch...quite an indictment. Of the church...of me. For years I wore a lovely gold cross with an amethyst in the middle as reminder of His royalty and His sacrifice. I'd often finger it in times of stress, say a prayer and move on. How easy to reduce the cross to some kind of talisman instead of the instrument of capital punishment that it was.
And so this week, I want to not only meditate on His crucifixion but also on how I can more fully live a cross-centered life here in California in the 21st century.
I guess you could say I'm praying for some close encounters of the cruciform kind.
Friday, March 16, 2012
A SAD Week
The rainy season is upon us here in the Bay Area. I have a moderate case of Seasonal Affectedness Disorder (aka SAD) so an entire week of cloud cover with rain has taken more than a bit of a toll on my mood. I'd pretty much forgotten what SAD feels like since I lived in one of the sunniest cities in the States for almost 10 years before moving back here last May. Every now and then we'd get three days in a row of solid gloom, but that was rare.
I was OK on Monday and Tuesday, started to feel the shift on Wednesday, now it's Friday evening and I'm ready to hole up for weeks with vats of pasta, cheap chocolate (e.g. Dark Snickers) and bad TV. I don't want to be around people AT ALL; this E/I split (in Myers-Briggs speak) is now an extreme I, ready to sign up for life as a hermit. Everything is annoying, even kindness. A well meaning friend asked me how my day was, and I wanted to bite her head off. (Alright, people...no cracks about how I'm already like this due to menopause!) I didn't, of course, but here alone in my room, I start to fume at how much work it takes to just be polite. I am even more sensitive to noise than usual; the pitter-patter of the rain is no longer cute...it's like a leaf blower...JUST MAKE IT STOP!
So it's definitely necessary to remove my SAD self (ha ha!) from society until the sun shines again, which is supposed to be tomorrow, according to weather.com. They'd better be right or someone's going to f***ing pay.
Kidding.
Sort of.
(We now return to our Lenten programming...)
I was OK on Monday and Tuesday, started to feel the shift on Wednesday, now it's Friday evening and I'm ready to hole up for weeks with vats of pasta, cheap chocolate (e.g. Dark Snickers) and bad TV. I don't want to be around people AT ALL; this E/I split (in Myers-Briggs speak) is now an extreme I, ready to sign up for life as a hermit. Everything is annoying, even kindness. A well meaning friend asked me how my day was, and I wanted to bite her head off. (Alright, people...no cracks about how I'm already like this due to menopause!) I didn't, of course, but here alone in my room, I start to fume at how much work it takes to just be polite. I am even more sensitive to noise than usual; the pitter-patter of the rain is no longer cute...it's like a leaf blower...JUST MAKE IT STOP!
So it's definitely necessary to remove my SAD self (ha ha!) from society until the sun shines again, which is supposed to be tomorrow, according to weather.com. They'd better be right or someone's going to f***ing pay.
Kidding.
Sort of.
(We now return to our Lenten programming...)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
What She Said
In today's reading, Tricia Rhodes said so beautifully what I have been trying to say for years (bold is mine for emphasis):
"I cherish Easter celebrations. In them we embrace our victory in Christ, power over forces of darkness, and the hope implanted within us through the Holy Spirit. But I don't want to rush past the Cross to get there. The depth of my appreciation for those glorious truths will be directly related to my comprehension of Christ's bloody battle for my sins on Calvary."
She ended with this prayer from The Book of Common Worship :
"Forbid, O God, that we should forget amid our earthly comforts, the pain and mortal anguish that our Lord Jesus endured for our salvation. Grant us this day a true vision of all that He suffered in His betrayal, His lonely agony, His false trial, His mocking and scourging, and the torture of death on the Cross. As you have given Yourself utterly for us, may we give ourselves utterly to You, O Jesus Christ, our only Lord and Savior. Amen."
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Jesus, Plus?
"The very existence of the cross, and of the crucified Christ, forces us to make a crucial decision: Will we look for God somewhere else, or will we make the cross, and the crucified Christ, the basis of our thought about God?"
—Alistair E. McGrath
With that quote, Chapter 4 of Contemplating the Cross began.
I see it and hear it all the time...people say they are Christians and then they go off to a Buddhist retreat, or engage in some kind of New Age activity to find healing, or visit a psychic to hopefully gain some insight to their future, or go off to Burning Man to join with humanity out in the desert for some kind of spiritual experience.
I see it and hear it all the time...people say they are Christians and then they go off to a Buddhist retreat, or engage in some kind of New Age activity to find healing, or visit a psychic to hopefully gain some insight to their future, or go off to Burning Man to join with humanity out in the desert for some kind of spiritual experience.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
I call this “Jesus, plus.” It’s as if they’re saying, “I believe in Jesus, plus I add these other things to enrich my spiritual experiences.” As if the Cross of Christ isn’t enough. As if His death (and resurrection) needs something added to it.
It's heart-breaking because if we really, truly, madly, deeply understood the Cross of Christ, we wouldn’t even *imagine* going anywhere else...we’d be on our faces at the foot of the Cross daily, clinging to it for dear life, because there is NOWHERE ELSE to go...NO ONE ELSE who can save us or bring us healing.
“He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our sins; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and BY HIS WOUNDS WE ARE HEALED.” (Isaiah 53:5)
No wonder the first commandment is to have no other Gods. There are so many imitations out there that look really inviting. But none of them satisfy and some of them do outright harm under the guise of “spirituality.” It reminds me of the beautiful White Witch in Narnia, offering Edmund the Turkish Delight. Oh it looks so good! So appealing! It will surely be the answer! Guess again.
Lord, have mercy
Christ, have mercy
There are plenty of glorious and rich spiritual experiences to be had, but they need to be rooted and grounded in the Cross of Christ for He is the only way, the only truth and the only life, and the only way to God. (Don't argue with me, argue with Him, because He said it Himself.)
I can rant about this, but then I have to look in the mirror. I might not be seeking other spiritual paths to enhance my faith, but what “plusses” am I adding to Jesus to try to gain satisfaction in life? This Lenten journey has been one of hard self-examination and I’m not pleased with what I see -- idolatry, covetousness, greed, gluttony, anger, sloth, pride...gosh, it’s beginning to sound like the seven deadly sins!
Lord, have mercy
Christ, have mercy
In each of those sins there is a grasping for something more. Isn’t that what sin is? Adam and Eve got the ball rolling for us, grasping for something more than the Lord. And I join them daily by doing things (or leaving things undone) on my own in the attempt to satisfy a need or a deep longing because somewhere in me I don’t fully trust that Jesus will meet the need...or He’s not meeting it fast enough for my tastes. So I turn my back on Him for a minute to escape the painful realities of life. The plate of pasta (gluten-free, of course) or bowl of ice cream surely will make me feel better for a moment. Only it really doesn’t. Daydreaming about what I don’t or can’t have (aka coveting) will surely relieve some of the pain. Maybe for a minute, but then it drives me a bit farther away from the Cross and it’s a longer trip each time to get back there. My knees are bloodied from the journey. And the list goes on.
“I cry out for Your hand of mercy to heal me
I am weak, I need Your love to free me
O Lord, my rock, my strength in weakness
Come rescue me, O Lord
You are my hope
Your promise never fails me
And my desire is to follow You forever
For You are good, for You are good
For You are good to me.”
The bottom line today is this --
I don’t want to live in “Jesus, plus.”
I want to be alive in Jesus, only.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Today's Prayer
"King of kings and Lord of lords...they mock You. You didn't perform for them so they scorn Your very presence. I think I understand their evil hearts, my Lord. How often I have disdained Your presence for something more tangible, something to satiate my senses, rather than sear my soul. This is how I mock You, dearest Savior -- forgive me....Forgive my squandering of Your precious grace."
No commentary necessary.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)