Puttin' on the Frjtz

That's not a typo; "Frjtz" is the name of the restaurant where we ate dinner this evening.

I was walking around the Mission district today, saw the sign, looked at the menu, and knew we had to eat there sometime this week. It's a Belgian cafe which specializes in amazing French fries which they call "frjtz," which is probably playing off the French word "frites" which is French for "French fries." Did you know that French fries were actually invented in Belgium?

Now that we're done with linguistics and history, let's get down to the food.

It was in-freaking-credible.

We shared a starter of frjtz, of course...with garlic and white truffle oil, and a pesto dipping sauce (there were probably a dozen sauces from which to choose). Let's just say we will be safe from vampires this evening. My goodness, there was a ton of garlic! Not that that's a bad thing, but the truffle oil was kind of lost in the mix. However, the frjtz were piping hot, really tasty, and served in a paper cone, just like in Belgium. (Not that I've been there...just seen it on TV, so it must be true!)

For our mains, Glenn had a crepe with smoked salmon, creme fraiche and chives. The crepe was sooo good; really light in texture, surrounding very flavorful salmon. Somehow they managed to fold the crepe into a perfect square, which looked really nice on the plate. I had mussels in a Thai-inspired broth flavored with coconut milk and lemon grass. The portion was very satistying and after eating through all the plump and juicy mussels, I could dip the accompanying slices of French bread into the savory broth. Finally, I just ate the rest of the broth with a spoon. Delish.

After enjoying the savory crepe so much, Glenn pondered aloud if we should perhaps indulge in a dessert crepe. (Twist my arm!) We couldn't agree on which one to split -- quelle surprise -- so two were ordered. Glenn's had strawberries with creme fraiche and a berry coulis (fancy name for puree/sauce). My crepe contained roasted pears, Nutella (chocolate-hazelnut spread) and sliced almonds, with puffs of whipped cream on the outside. I swooned on the first bite and never looked back. OH MY GOSH. What a taste sensation! Creamy, crunchy, chunky, nutty, fruity, chocolatey. I was so enamored with my dessert that I forgot to ask Glenn for a bite of his! He did seem to be enjoying it very much...and neither of us could finish our crepes. We were so full, and completely content.

I loved this place. It is about a block from where I'm staying.

Blessing or curse?

:)

Talk and Walk

Some things have happened recently where I've found myself thinking, "They talk a good talk..." Of course in doing so, I have judged that person, my compassion has gone out the window, and as I lean in to deal with the speck in their eye, I am whacking them with the log sticking out of my own.

I mean, really...how many of us always walk what we talk? We are full of strong belief and good intentions, and I do trust the Lord when He says He looks at the heart. He also says that faith without works is dead. So I have to look in the mirror and see the areas where I'm not walking my talk either. I "care" about the homeless, but when have I actually DONE anything, other than give a few bucks here and there to someone on the street? Oh I googled "soup kitchen Tucson" a couple of times, but that's as far as that went.

I think most of us mean what we say when we say it, but have a hard time with the follow-through. It doesn't make us liars, it just means we're humans with big hearts who want to do the right thing and have right relationships but are often too busy, too scared, too forgetful, too [fill-in-your-adjective-here] to do so. In this moment, as I type this, I feel the Lord whisper, "Lay down your toos."

Am I too [something] to be able to walk my talk? Too afraid to speak truth so I keep silent and get resentful? Too vulnerable to reveal my heart so walls go up between me and a loved one? Too overwhelmed with my own life so I don't reach out to those around me? Too tired to chop fresh vegetables and make a salad, so I eat processed food ?

And that's just the start of the list.

I need to go take a walk.

Over the River and through the Woods...

...to Grandmother's house we go! Well, to my kids' grandmother, anyway.

Aside from Jake, who is in Australia, the rest of us will be crisscrossing our way through California and Arizona. Not sure there have ever been these many logistics in our family for one holiday:

-- Caleb and Jessica left this morning to drive to So. Cal. They're having a separate time with Grandma and Grandpa due to Caleb needing to be back here Weds. night for work.

-- Tomorrow night I will get on Amtrak a bit before 11:30, and with the help of Ambien, sleep my way to southern California. My parents-in-law will pick me up at the train station Weds. morning and the plan is to breakfast together, hopefully with Caleb and Jessica before they drive back to AZ!

-- Glenn will be taking Amtrak from No. Cal. to So. Cal. and will arrive late at night on Wednesday.

-- After Thanksgiving, Glenn and I will Amtrak (is that even a verb?) together from So. to No. and I'll stay up there for a week until I fly back to AZ.

I'm just glad we don't have to travel by horse-drawn sleigh through snow to make all of this happen. But I still find myself humming the song as I do laundry and prepare for the trip.

:)

Time for Another Recipe

I said at the beginning that this blog wasn't always going to be serious and introspective...time to make good on that promise.

Here's what I made for dinner tonight. It's cheap and easy and really yummy. It's also meatless, for you vegetarians out there. Cottage cheese is the protein. Use Dreamfields pasta for lower carbs and higher protein, too. This tastes richer than you'd think it would.

Enjoy!

From More with Less:

Cottage Cheese Casserole

Saute' in a large skillet:
2 T. butter (I used extra virgin olive oil and a smidge of butter)
1/2 c. chopped mushrooms
1/2 c. chopped onion
1/2 c. chopped celery
1 clove garlic, minced (I used 2)

Stir in:
1/4t marjoram, crushed (I used about 1/2t Italian seasoning...next time will use a full teaspoon)
4 1/2 c. water
6 oz. tomato paste
4 c. elbow macaroni (I used Dreamfields rotini)
2 t. salt
1 t. sugar
Simmer uncovered until macaroni is tender, about 25 minutes (Be sure to stir it occasionally. Also note that Dreamfields pasta cooks faster.)

Mix together:
1/4 c. parsley, chopped
2 c. cottage cheese
1/3 c. grated Parmesan cheese + more for the top

Heat oven to 350. Put half of the pasta mixture in a greased 2 qt. casserole dish. Top with cottage cheese mixture. Cover with remaining pasta mixture. Sprinkle with as much freshly grated Parmesan as you want. Bake at 350* for 35-40 min.

Pressing on with a Limp

I am having to learn -- AGAIN -- that the cost of staying silent for too long is far greater than the cost of speaking up in the moment. I have let fear rule me so much of my life. I quake in my boots when needing to speak up and then so much of the time I don't speak at all, or speak only half of what needs to be said and then it doesn't make sense, or isn't heard. OR... I'll erupt after holding things in for too long. All of the above just causes more pain in the long run. *sigh*

I have had to confess pride because I'm surprised at how unhealed I still am...how much my childhood wounds still affect me...how easily I get gripped with fear and want to flee. I am grateful to have found a few kindred souls who are on the same journey of healing; most people don't understand the terror I feel inside. I know I often come across as a confident, strong woman, but in some arenas I am still a scared little girl.

I don't want to be emotionally crippled anymore. This has been the cry of my heart for the last 17 years, and while there has been some progress, I am a long way from being where I want to be.

Sometimes I wonder if this will be the "thorn in my flesh" until Heaven. I don't know. I do know I'm growing, thanks be to God, but I still walk with a very big limp in this area.

What comes to mind as I process these things is this:

"I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead.

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." -- Phillipians 3:10-14

Amen and amen.

More of that Perfect Love, Please

This quote socked me between the eyes:

"Religion is almost entirely cultural conformity and fear based. But “perfect love casts out all fear" (1 John 4:18). If your motivation is still fear or shame based, then you are still building your container, which is necessary, but it does not demand any real love of God or neighbor yet. Most of us begin with creating the skeleton, but it takes years and usually some suffering to find the meat, muscle, and the real message of the Gospel. It is probably easiest to begin conservative, since liberals do not tend to respect the basic skeleton of faith or any limits to their seeming freedom. In the second half of life you might look a little more like a liberal, but the real difference is that you have been overtaken by love and let go of fear. That is the meat, the muscle, and the message." --Richard Rohr

I am so tired of my fear. My left brain "knows" that I am completely loved and accepted by the Creator of the Universe who is also my Abba Father, but my right brain still has so many wounds that I respond out of fear far too often. Lord heal me. Heal us all.

Just Do It

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue."

-- Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)

I wasn't expecting much from today...it's just a plain-ol' Tuesday, after all. I was in the midst of the sprint to the finish line of my job -- Friday's my last day! -- when a friend called and spoke the most beautiful words of encouragement to me. I had to close my office door and weep.

Encouragement in the midst of discouragement.

Heartening in the midst of disheartening.

Words of life...what a gift.

Let's all find someone to encourage today. Write a note. Make a call. Send a text. Everyone needs to know they are thought of, appreciated and loved.

"Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose."

-- Proverbs 18:21 (The Message)

And How Are You?

since when did it become a 'should'

to tell someone "oh, it's all good"

when asked how I feel today

(is it not okay to be not okay?)

if, instead, I were to say

"dismissed, disregarded

like junk mail discarded"

what would the reaction be

to that level of honesty?

"I will be glad and rejoice in Your unfailing love for You have seen my troubles, and You care about the anguish of my soul." -- Psalm 31:7