Face to Face with My Hero

I was about 12 feet from the stage. I could see the veins in her hands and the crow's feet around her eyes. (She is, after all, 50 years old now...just 9 months older than me.) I've never been so close to her in my life.

The first time I saw her in concert was 30 years ago. I had all *three* of her albums on both vinyl and cassette, and she was "it." I was 19, she was 20, and I wanted to be her; I wanted her life of singing, writing songs, sharing my heart from the stage and touring the world. A few people told me they thought I could be "next" and after doing a few local concerts, I started to think maybe that life was possible. I recorded a couple of demo tapes in college, with plans to send them off to some of the record companies in the burgeoning Christian music biz. One time a talent scout for one of those companies heard me sing and gave me his name and number, telling me to send him my tape. But I got cold feet. Or maybe God just had other plans for me and took my life in a different direction...far less performing and more worship leading.

Through the years, I became increasingly glad I didn't have her life. As her career grew and she became the most popular Christian recording artist of all time, and eventually "crossed over" into the pop world, she had many fingers pointing at her...not Christian enough for the church; too Christian for the world. Her failings were splashed all over the internet; her divorce was fodder for all sorts of gossip. Christian radio pulled her music for awhile. Nashville was abuzz when one of their most awarded country music stars became her new husband.

No thanks, I didn't want that life.

But I still loved her music and her heart; still bought every CD (or downloaded them on iTunes); watched every interview I heard about; went to as many concerts as I could. Moving to Tucson made it harder to see her perform as she, like most artists, only came to Phoenix and it was often not feasible to attend a Saturday evening show two hours away when I needed to be up and at 'em early for Sunday morning worship leading.

But this past Saturday night I was able to see her in concert after 8 long years (tickets were a Christmas gift from Glenn!). She's touring with one of her best friends, the man who got his start as her keyboard player, Michael W. Smith. Last time I'd seen them together was 20 years ago.

Several months ago, I waxed poetic on this blog about two other "old friends" I saw in concert. Carole King and James Taylor most assuredly were foundational musical influences for me and seeing them in concert (twice!) gave me memories I will treasure always. But Saturday night's experience was different...deeper...as it connected me not only with my musical history but with my history with Jesus.

I've been walking with the Lord for 31 years; Amy Grant has been my hero for about 30 of them. She was always so real on stage, making mistakes (it happened at this concert, too!), laughing at herself, sharing stories of her clumsy youth. She had curly hair with a widow's peak and was teased mercilessly in school. She got her start playing little songs in D on the guitar. Sound familiar? Every time I heard her speak, I was astounded at how our lives were so similar. She had her kids around the same time I had mine. Her stories of parenting made me laugh. Later, the poignancy and depth of the questions of her shattered heart made me cry. And her "come back" made me cheer. Her music has been the soundtrack to my life.

Ultimately, she's my hero because she has handled the messes in her life with exceptional grace, hanging onto Jesus through it all and continuing to speak and live out a message of love and compassion. And I just love her voice...have loved it in all its stages. I owe it to her that I found the "sweet spot" of my lower register as I learned to belt along with her "new" voice that seemed to emerge around her 5th album; I remember wearing out that tape trying to figure out how to growl the same way she did! (She has since dropped the growl, though there were some songs at the concert where I kind of missed it.)

So here I was within spitting distance of this woman I have admired from afar for so long and I felt so many things. For a few minutes I had those old pangs of wanting to headline a show like that, just for a moment...then I had familiar pangs of wanting to sing with her (I can still dream...I never thought I'd sing with Randy Stonehill, and that happened TWICE! Three times, if you count the house concert!) But mostly I just reveled in the moments as they unfolded -- laughing, smiling, crying, worshiping, dancing my butt off and singing my guts out. I loved seeing how she has come full circle, no longer needing to hide any part of herself, obviously comfortable in her own skin...sharing her faith openly, and still joyfully jumping around with some energy to the pop songs. (Though I must say that Carole King, at age 68, exhibited more energy than Amy & MWS combined!)

MWS was wonderful, too; one of the highlights was his piano instrumental -- the pure joy that came over his face as he played moved me to tears. He also led us in worship, which was glorious, with the main concert (before the encores) ending with Amy and Michael leading us in "Agnus Dei," the crowd on their feet, hands raised, singing the melody MWS penned so long ago (words taken from Revelation) which Amy recorded on her first Christmas album in the mid-Eighties and Third Day made into a hit about 10 years ago so it is now sung all over the world...

Alleluia! Alleluia!

For the Lord God Almighty reigns.

Alleluia! Alleluia!

For the Lord God Almighty reigns.

Alleluia!

Holy, holy are You, Lord God Almighty

Worthy is the Lamb, worthy is the Lamb

Amen.

Amazing how something so simple can be so powerful. I could have sworn the roof was blown off.

The first encore was the iconic "Friends"...and they sang it with their backs together. I loved the symbolism...they have each other's back. They've had each other's back for 28 years, through the ups and downs of life...through all the changes...

Friends are friends forever

If the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say, "Never"

For the welcome will not end...

I didn't think the night could get any better. But then...

Final song. Everyone on their feet, dancing and singing along to a rousing rendition of the old Jackie DeShannon song, "Put a Little Love in Your Heart." Amy came to the edge of the stage, and I made eye contact with her as I was dancing to the music. And she smiled at me. (Glenn saw it happen, too...it wasn't my imagination!)

My hero smiled at me. I'm still savoring that moment.

I still want to sing with her some day, but for now, that smile will suffice.