D'accord...

A view from Great Brittain:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/us-politics/8262152/Gabrielle-Giffords-shooting-Why-it-is-time-to-change-gun-laws.html

Well done!

Stepping over Our Wounds

"Sometimes we have to "step over" our anger, our jealousy, or our feelings of rejection and move on. The temptation is to get stuck in our negative emotions, poking around in them as if we belong there. Then we become the "offended one," "the forgotten one," or the "discarded one." Yes, we can get attached to these negative identities and even take morbid pleasure in them. It might be good to have a look at these dark feelings and explore where they come from, but there comes a moment to step over them, leave them behind and travel on." --Henri Nouwen

Definitely part of the upward/outward/inward journey. Feel the feelings, process, then let go. Easier said than done, though. Some things require a lifetime of daily surrender. But that's OK. After all, His mercies are new every morning.

Thoughts: the Afternoon After

"... if My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." -- 2 Chronicles 7:14

This morning's service at Vineyard City Church was different from last night at Pantano, but equally compelling. I very much appreciate how our pastor, Gary Stokes, spoke directly to our hearts and our lives about how the church at large has contributed to the atmosphere of hatred and violence in this nation. People say all kinds of things in the name of Jesus...and it has to stop. Opinion is fine, but verbal attacks on individuals and groups must come to an end. We've got to find a way to be bold without hatred; firm in our stances while also listening and coming alongside others.

I also love how he boldly reminded us that the ONLY government that matters (and can do anything about the world's problems) is the Kingdom which is ruled by a King who wasn't elected. And following THAT King is what is going to heal our land. Those of us who are Jesus-followers need to put His Kingdom first, and be in the world and not of it.

How do we do this? One way is by how we forgive others. I just finished reading "Total Forgiveness" by R.T. Kendall, and he said that Christians need first and foremost to practice complete forgiveness, and THAT is what is going to draw people to Jesus. That's the main way we can show love to one another... by forgiving offenses, not seeking vengeance (and that is often a heart thing), and trusting God for HIS justice in HIS timing. Far easier to forgive someone for hurting our feelings than for shooting someone dead...but who said following Jesus was supposed to be easy?

This is NOT that we turn a blind eye to sin, injustice, violence, etc. NOT AT ALL. But it does mean we approach it in a different way. Here's an example:

Yesterday John McCain declared Jared Loughner (the shooter; he does have a name) "a disgrace to Arizona, this country and the human race, and [deserves] and will receive the contempt of all decent people." Really? Well I've got some news for Sen. McCain. Jared Loughner is receiving prayers from Christians all over the world who know they are capable of any sin at any time...and that Jesus would want Jared and his family to come to know Him...to not be discarded as waste. People are weeping over ALL that happened yesterday, including the grief Jared's family must be going through. It's wonderful rhetoric, Senator McCain, to stir people to contempt, but what you fail to realize is that it ONLY ADDS TO THE PROBLEM. Let's hate the shooter. Let's hate anyone who commits crime. Let's hate anyone who kills someone. Let's hate them enough to kill them, too. When does it end?

Do we feel these things?? OF COURSE! I appreciated Gary's honesty in expressing how angry he felt while listening to the rhetoric on the radio yesterday. FEELING outrage, anger, the longing for justice, etc. is fine. Expressing it to God is not only good, it's necessary. (Has anyone read the Psalms where David cries out for all manner of vengeance? Hello?) But it is a far, far different thing to put that hatred "out there" on the airwaves, on the internet. Are we spreading our anger and hatred, or are we spreading concern and compassion? Are we asking how we can help? Or are we just spewing more poison into the mix?

I've seen "friends" on Facebook say horrible things to each other, all in the name of Jesus. The quest for holiness and righteousness CANNOT have any hatred attached to it. That's a complete oxymoron. "Let me spew hate at you so you will become more righteous like me." I don't think so.

But we do it all the time, in various ways and to varying degrees...don't we? Church, in my opinion, it's time for us to once again look in the mirror and deal with the plank sticking out of our eye.

Forgive us, Father, for we know not what we do. I would add to that, please show us what we do so we can repent and turn from our wicked ways.

Ramblings at the End of a Day of (Local) Tragedy

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." - 2Cor. 1:3-4

The eyes of the nation, and perhaps the world, are on Tucson today. Our city experienced what far-too-many cities across this land have experienced in recent years -- a kid with a gun, firing into a crowd, killing and wounding too many people. (One is too many.)

The internet was filled with false reporting (including CNN and MSNBC); I was thankful for a local station that ran live, streaming, *accurate* coverage. I was able to breathe a bit easier when KOLD confirmed Congressman Gabrielle Giffords (known affectionately in these parts as "Gabby") was NOT dead, had survived her surgery, and that the docs were "optimistic about her recovery." A bullet through the brain...one has to wonder what kind of recovery there will be...nonetheless, it was good news for the moment and I think the entire city exhaled at the same time.

Relief only lasted a moment, though. A 9-year-old child was one of the dead...one of the six (so far) whose lives ended today. Unimaginable grief for those parents...and for all the families who lost a loved one today. There are no words.

I went to church tonight; I knew I needed to worship the God of all comfort, who is grieving with us, and I wanted to worship in community. Pantano Christian Church's service this evening couldn't have been more appropriate. A big shout-out to them for switching up the service, scrapping the original plans, and allowing a central place for what was on everyone's minds anyway. The Senior Pastor, Glen Elliot, shared from the Word and his heart on 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (see above). We who have received such comfort from God, need to be comfort to our community; sometimes that will mean just listening and giving a hug. Other times it will mean sharing deeply from our hearts. God will show each of us how to be a comfort to people in our city.

The extended time of prayer was powerful. Glen invited us to take whatever posture would help us draw close to the Lord; I had one of the front pews all to myself, so I laid face-down on it as Glen led us to pray for different situations. I loved that it wasn't just us agreeing with whatever he prayed; he would mention something and then give us time to pour out our hearts to God. We prayed for those clinging to life; we prayed for the families who had lost loved ones; we prayed for Gabby; we prayed for our city. And then it got gutsy --we prayed for the family of the shooter, and for the shooter himself. I wanted to shout "Amen and hallelujah" because the perpetrators of crime and their families are often forgotten in prayer times like this. I remember reading an interview of the parents of one of the Columbine shooters and they went through hell; they were shunned by their community and very few people reached out to them. But Jesus died for ALL. Jesus is reaching out His hand to ALL involved today. I loved the heart of God expressed by Pastor Glen tonight. Many of us were crying; I loved the heart of God expressed by the body tonight.

The worship time was spot-on. God is worthy of our worship even in the midst of tragedy. To sing "How Great Thou Art" tonight was amazing. Then we sang "He knows my name/He knows my every thought/He sees each tear that falls/And hears me when I call." And then the following:

The Stand

You stood before creation
Eternity in your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, O God
Completely to You

I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered

All I am is Yours

(Hear it at www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAQ61KH7qRc)

I was undone. To hear everyone's voices around me with arms raised and tears falling...it was an incredibly moving time of worship.

But wait, there's more. Before Communion, Glen told us that one of the fallen today was a man who had jumped in front of his wife as the shots rang out. The couple was coming out of the Safeway, and the husband did what any man would/should do...and now he is with Jesus and his wife is alive, wounded, but alive. There was a collective gasp in the room as Glen told how this man of God had given his life for his wife; what a poignant way to introduce Communion.

I drove home with both a heavier and a lighter heart. Ah, the both-andness of things. Again. Always.

I have all sorts of other thoughts swirling around my brain -- gun control, for instance... and how every day is a "day of tragedy" somewhere; it just hits harder when it's closer to home -- but I will save those for another time.

I head to bed with heart abandoned, soul surrendered, in awe of the God of all comfort, and praying for those in Tucson who need that comfort the most.

Deep Dark Chocolate Cheesecake

This is one serious dessert. Probably one of the best things I've ever baked. Enjoy!

This must be made at least 1 day ahead.

Deep Dark Chocolate Cheesecake

Crust:

24 chocolate wafer cookies (or 12 Oreos)

1T sugar (omit if using Oreos)

1/2 stick butter, melted

Filling:

10 oz. 70% Bittersweet chocolate, chopped

32 oz. cream cheese, room temp.

1-1/4C + 2T sugar

1/4C unsweetened cocoa powder

4 eggs

Topping:

3/4C whipping cream

6 oz. 70% Bittersweet chocolate, chopped

1T sugar

Bittersweet chocolate curls, for garnish (optional)

Heat oven to 350. Butter a 9” springform pan. Blend cookies in processor until finely ground; blend in sugar, if using. Add melted butter and blend. Press evenly onto bottom (NOT sides) of pan. Bake just until set, about 5 minutes. Cool while preparing filling.

Stir chopped chocolate in metal bowl over simmering water until melted and smooth. Remove bowl from over water; cool until lukewarm but still pourable. Blend cream cheese, sugar and cocoa powder in processor until smooth. Blend in eggs 1 at a time. Mix in chocolate. Pour filling over crust; smooth top. Bake until center is just set and just appears dry, about 1 hour. Cool 5 minutes. Run knife around edges to loosen. Chill overnight.

Stir topping ingredients in medium saucepan over low heat until smooth. Cool slightly. Pour over center of cake, spreading to within 1/2” of edge and filling any cracks. Chill until topping is set, about 1 hour.

Can be made 3 days ahead; cover with foil and chill.

Release pan sides. Transfer to platter Top with chocolate curls. Let stand 2 hours at room temp. before serving.

Serves 12

Puttin' on the Frjtz

That's not a typo; "Frjtz" is the name of the restaurant where we ate dinner this evening.

I was walking around the Mission district today, saw the sign, looked at the menu, and knew we had to eat there sometime this week. It's a Belgian cafe which specializes in amazing French fries which they call "frjtz," which is probably playing off the French word "frites" which is French for "French fries." Did you know that French fries were actually invented in Belgium?

Now that we're done with linguistics and history, let's get down to the food.

It was in-freaking-credible.

We shared a starter of frjtz, of course...with garlic and white truffle oil, and a pesto dipping sauce (there were probably a dozen sauces from which to choose). Let's just say we will be safe from vampires this evening. My goodness, there was a ton of garlic! Not that that's a bad thing, but the truffle oil was kind of lost in the mix. However, the frjtz were piping hot, really tasty, and served in a paper cone, just like in Belgium. (Not that I've been there...just seen it on TV, so it must be true!)

For our mains, Glenn had a crepe with smoked salmon, creme fraiche and chives. The crepe was sooo good; really light in texture, surrounding very flavorful salmon. Somehow they managed to fold the crepe into a perfect square, which looked really nice on the plate. I had mussels in a Thai-inspired broth flavored with coconut milk and lemon grass. The portion was very satistying and after eating through all the plump and juicy mussels, I could dip the accompanying slices of French bread into the savory broth. Finally, I just ate the rest of the broth with a spoon. Delish.

After enjoying the savory crepe so much, Glenn pondered aloud if we should perhaps indulge in a dessert crepe. (Twist my arm!) We couldn't agree on which one to split -- quelle surprise -- so two were ordered. Glenn's had strawberries with creme fraiche and a berry coulis (fancy name for puree/sauce). My crepe contained roasted pears, Nutella (chocolate-hazelnut spread) and sliced almonds, with puffs of whipped cream on the outside. I swooned on the first bite and never looked back. OH MY GOSH. What a taste sensation! Creamy, crunchy, chunky, nutty, fruity, chocolatey. I was so enamored with my dessert that I forgot to ask Glenn for a bite of his! He did seem to be enjoying it very much...and neither of us could finish our crepes. We were so full, and completely content.

I loved this place. It is about a block from where I'm staying.

Blessing or curse?

:)

Talk and Walk

Some things have happened recently where I've found myself thinking, "They talk a good talk..." Of course in doing so, I have judged that person, my compassion has gone out the window, and as I lean in to deal with the speck in their eye, I am whacking them with the log sticking out of my own.

I mean, really...how many of us always walk what we talk? We are full of strong belief and good intentions, and I do trust the Lord when He says He looks at the heart. He also says that faith without works is dead. So I have to look in the mirror and see the areas where I'm not walking my talk either. I "care" about the homeless, but when have I actually DONE anything, other than give a few bucks here and there to someone on the street? Oh I googled "soup kitchen Tucson" a couple of times, but that's as far as that went.

I think most of us mean what we say when we say it, but have a hard time with the follow-through. It doesn't make us liars, it just means we're humans with big hearts who want to do the right thing and have right relationships but are often too busy, too scared, too forgetful, too [fill-in-your-adjective-here] to do so. In this moment, as I type this, I feel the Lord whisper, "Lay down your toos."

Am I too [something] to be able to walk my talk? Too afraid to speak truth so I keep silent and get resentful? Too vulnerable to reveal my heart so walls go up between me and a loved one? Too overwhelmed with my own life so I don't reach out to those around me? Too tired to chop fresh vegetables and make a salad, so I eat processed food ?

And that's just the start of the list.

I need to go take a walk.